Biological & adopted – Is there a difference?

– Petronella Eates

bioThis is the most common question asked when it comes to adoption.

“Many people think that you can never love an adoptive child the same way you love a child who comes through your body.”

WHAT DO YOU THINK? (Do leave your opinion in the form of a comment on this page)

Well, according to me, the answer is ‘Yes, there will mostly certainly be a difference’. However, the difference is limited to the fact that the child was not conceived in your womb and you did not feel the physical pain and anxiety that is a part and parcel of labor and childbirth.

Besides these aspects of having a child, adoptive parents too go through the apprehension and uncertainties that are faced by an expectant couple. The waiting period seems like a pregnancy with no physical changes. As the date for the arrival of the baby nears, adoptive parents too, face the nesting urge. The fears revolving around being able to be a good parent, seeing the child for the first time, diaper changes and sleepless nights also set in.



  1. It’s all a matter of how one looks at it. Once, you have accepted a child with all your heart, biological and adopted are merely words.

  2. We have both. We adopted our 1 yr old daughter when our biological son was 2. They are 8 and 7 years old now. My answer to this question is yes and no – it is complicated, the innermost feelings are same but there are differences in the routines. But above all, I feel grateful to be able to do what we did. It is such a joy to be able to be a MOTHER. The bond is so strong, sweet and blessed that it does not matter if the relationship is biological.

  3. I am a single unmarried adoptive mother. my daughter came into my life when she was less than 3 and now she is nine. she is the whole world to me. i dont think i could love my child more if she/he came out of my womb. i feel my daughter came out from deep within me, from my thoughts, feelings, deepest emotions, my veins, my arteries and something even deeper, perhaps my soul. I can say this maybe because i do not have a biological child but all i can say that i have actually forgotten unless someone reminds me that my daughter did not come out of me…..

  4. I wouldn’t have known one from the other until I had my second through birth.

    Can you love your ‘adopted’ child the way you love your ‘naturally born’ child? Yes. Just as much? Yes. Is there a difference in the love? Well, yes!
    Because love is a decision, a commitment, it is equal in both cases. However, owing that the children come into our lives differently, the love, by its nature, is somewhat different.

    When I look at my adopted son, I grow aware of the supernatural love I have for him, beyond any biological relation. I see a unique and powerful connection between us two. And, I grow aware of the reality of loss, and the great calling I have to help overcome that. It’s profound! It’s special!

    When I look at my naturally born child, I marvel at the miracle that lies before me, the one God formed inside of me, the one I carried inside of me, nourished, watched grow and birthed. It’s incredible! It’s special!

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