Your views / advice on telling a child that he / she is adopted?

Arunima Bhattacharya (adoptive mom) says, “We told our kids from the very beginning. We talk about it openly, frankly, proudly and every time I think about it, my faith in humanity deepens. However, we have come across unpleasant situations (always people from ‘educated’ family) that cause her a lot of pain. But no regrets for not hiding….. pain if sooner is better!

Julie Krones Sante (adoptive mom) says, “My daughter doesn’t look like me so it was never an option to not let her know. She came home at 6 months old. We started telling her before she could understand. That way, if something didn’t sound right it was easy to correct that. Open and free talking is the way to go.”

Shirkhan Shireen (a 28 year old adoptee) says, “I think its very difficult for parents who adopt a child to explain everything in wonderful words but my parents did a great work. They always told me that they love me like their own child and they still support me in everything. But I think the most important thing is to tell them that you love them and will always be there for them. Hold your child, when he/she is crying, be there for the child. Just my experiences 🙂

Dharini Sha (a 24 year old adoptee) believes that sharing the concept of adoption should be an on-going process. Parents should not expect a child to co-relate stories that were told to them when they were young. Similarly, telling a child about their adoption shouldn’t be a one time – ‘sit down, listen to me and now go on and play’ thing. Parents should consider telling their children about adoption in a light manner, like any other happy event in their lives, probably during playtime or on the way to a party. Being open to questions and giving honest answers is also important. Its the worst thing for children to come to know from outsiders about their adoption.

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